Tuesday, September 13, 2005

martha! martha! martha!

I'm not one to really believe in "guilty pleasures". Most people have certain songs that are guilty pleasures, but this is silly. Yes, it's true! "Since U Been Gone" is my most listened to song according to my audioscrobbler. Yes, it's true that "Behind These Hazel Eyes" is pretty high up on that list too. It's true that if you check that page in a week, Pat Benatar will definitely be on the list of most listened to artists for the past week. But I refuse to make excuses for liking any of these songs, and I will not refer to them as guilty pleasures - because I do not feel guilty when I enjoy them so much.

I will admit one slightly guilty pleasure, and that is Martha Stewart. Martha, you brought out the DIY in me when you pranced around your immaculate house making chandeliers for a small dinner party. I love you for that. But I hate the way you recommend that I buy my wire cutters from this fabulous wire cutting store in the outskirts in Maine. I hate that your version of DIY is so expensive - isn't the point to save money? I hate that you are so smug, so pretentious, so ...better than everyone else, clearly. How could we expect anything less? Even in prison you were a class above the rest, I am certain.

So I've been watching Martha's new show the past two days, and it has been...interesting. Yesterday was a bit of a mess, with Martha punctuating every other thought with "uh" or "um". It was almost fun, knowing that she doesn't have style and grace at all times. Today was much improved, and now I am somewhat hooked. Maybe it was David Spade having to explain the foreign concept of tater tots and how to cook them to Martha. Maybe it was the audience, who looked collectively hideous in their crocheted ponchos. It's probably just Martha, though. Martha, I love that you made nachos for your cellmates [in the microwave, even!!]. I love that you consistently screw up your guests' names at least once. I love that you have taught the art of t-shirt folding two days in a row, even if it only shows that you are a better folder than everyone. You are welcome addition to my daily routine, as long as I can snicker at you while I watch.

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