deep thoughts on fridges and life.

A few weeks ago I was cleaning in the kitchen and I noticed that there was some sort of liquidy ooze beneath the fridge. I realized that the ooze was definitely coming from the fridge, though I wasn't sure how. Oh, and I also found an old lemon, SO OLD that it now looked like a lime and had weird dust all over it.

And so I decided that it was time for a massive deep cleaning of the old refrigerator, to be undertaken with all deliberate speed. A task like this can teach one much about themselves - and life! Okay, maybe not so much about life. But moldy food, sure.

First of all, even though I have a small apartment fridge, I manage to keep things in there for obscene amounts of time, provided they will keep. (and um. well. they don't always do that.) One thing I finally had to throw out after two (!) years was this jar of red pepper jelly that I had barely put a dent in. There was a good reason for buying this: it was my birthday and I felt like buying fancy food like brie and bread and some good jelly to go with it. But this jelly was gross.

Lesson 1: Red pepper jelly CAN be good, but you gotta go for the good shit. In fact, this is good advice with most ingredients: go for the good shit when you can.

Then I started to remove the contents of my lower shelf so I could clean it well and I found a wide array of condiments I rarely use.

Lesson 2: For christ's sake, stop buying jelly at all. And no more natural peanut butter, you hear?!

Lesson 3: Wow, it's a bit frightening how long these food-like goods last when you think about it.

I'm still not done completely, as the top shelf needs a wipe down. But I discovered some interesting patterns in the foods in my fridge.

Foodstuffs I almost always have and use: Spinach, milk, eggs, butter, cheese (feta, parmesean, cheddar) tortillas, english muffins, yogurt containers (sometimes with yogurt in them), fruits of some sort, veggies of some sort.

Foodstuffs I always have and rarely if ever use: Jellies and jams, beer from Wisconsin, creepy old salad dressing that is probably still good (that also needs to go), applesauce, natural peanut butter, ketchup.

Foodstuffs I always want and rarely if ever have: chocolate, dried cherries, bacon.

I think I'll conclude my fridge self-analysis right there for now. But remember, it's almost spring! Clean out those refrigerators and know thyself in the process!


p.s. food link of the day: Organic food companies and the corporations behind them.