Monday, November 10, 2008

probably the only time i will discuss economics at length.

Analysis of the Sub-Prime Economic Meltdown and the Resulting Effect on World Markets™, as requested by Tim.


Dear Readers, I know in these times where people are throwing economic type words around left and right, well, things can get a little confusing. That's why I have been solicited to explain it to you.

You see, the people, they want houses. They want houses with bedrooms and backyards for the kiddies to run around in. They are sick of throwing their money away on an apartment with paper thin walls and water damage! And they also hear that building equity is a good thing, whatever that is. But what about the money? That's okay, house-desiring friends! Mr. Sub-Prime Mortgage Man is here to help!

Sub-Prime, you say..what's that? Don't you know your prefixes at all? It means below prime. That doesn't help either? Okay, I'm going to quote a former student on this one.

Teacher, I think...not good.


Yes, exactly. Not good indeed. So here we are, the happy new homeowners with their not good mortgage. This is where the World Markets™ come in. No, not the Japanese Stock Market they keep talking about on NPR. Cost Plus World Market! Proud seller of "unique, authentic, and affordable" household goods. Also, imported wines and foods at low low prices.

Obviously, the new homeowners need to decorate. This is good for World Markets™, and it's also good for the homeowners since they may embellish their abode with worldly goods at lower prices than Pier 1. Everyone is happy. The homeowners are happy, World Markets™ are happy, and the not good mortgage provider is happy.

Then a bunch of stuff happens, but it's really way too complicated to get into here. IN SUM: The happy homeowners can no longer pay their not good mortgage. This makes the mortgage man sad. Furthermore, it makes the World Markets™ really sad because if the happy sad homeowners aren't going to buy these elephant bookends, then WHO WILL?


Don't cry, little elephants. Someday you will be loved.


This is where we're at now. The not good mortgage dudes are feeling sad, but we don't really feel too sorry for them. The homeowners are desperately trying to sell their worldly household wares on ebay. As for the World Markets™, they are having a giant sale on everything. With an extra 10% off anything elephant related.

1 comment:

tim j said...

ha! Thank you! The funniest part is that I used to work at Cost Plus about 10 years ago.

Now I need to blog some. Hmm.